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Children for our Ark

The first thing you should know about us is that, if trusted with your precious embryos, we will love these children every moment of every day for the rest of our lives. We believe that parents are defined by the unconditional love they have for their children, whether or not they share biological ties. We will do our very best to teach our kids to be good men and women, to fulfill their own dreams, to live happy lives, and we will make sure that even in the times when life is more difficult, they know we are here, and we love them. Our home is a small farm, which plays host to family and friends and belongs, in part, to a couple of golden retrievers, four Nigerian dwarf goats, two fuzzy lop-eared bunnies, and a crew of chickens with names. It brings us a lot of joy, but it is missing the children for whom it was always intended.

Being completely honest, we never really imagined we would be here. Even when we were told that having children would be difficult, we both still thought it would be possible. We were relatively young and healthy, and we were ready for the challenge. Over the years we have tried life-style changes and medication, many rounds of IUI and several rounds of IVF. It’s been hard and we have been very disappointed. But the thing that never changed was our desire to have children. We love each other and the life we have as a couple, but we have each always wanted kids, and that desire has only grown with the years, with our marriage, and with the knowledge of the family we could be.

Although we don’t have our own, children are a big part of our life. We have an adorable god-daughter, and many of our friends’ kids call us Auntie R and Uncle N. They love to come over to our home to feed our chickens or pick mulberries, pet our dwarf goats or play with our dogs. Every Christmas we make hundreds of cookies to decorate with the kids in our lives. These children add a great deal of laughter and joy, but we also long for the opportunity to have kids of our own, to introduce our own kids to our friends and their children, to live the day to dayness of parenthood.

Snapshot of my life and family:
We have always wanted kids, and we have only wanted them more as time has gone by. This desire has influenced the life we have built over the last eight years as we have struggled with infertility.

Five years ago, we bought a house on a small farm, partially because we wanted to experience the adventure of living in nature, of growing things, and even of having a few animals together, but partially because we wanted this life for our children. Our house has extra bedrooms, waiting for small inhabitants, that currently play host to friends and family when they come into town. We got a couple of golden retrievers because we knew we wanted dogs to spend our days with now, and whose ears our kids could pull later. Last year R's parents moved close by, so that we could spend more time together and so that grandparents could be at the ready if our infertility journey came to a happy conclusion. Our god-daughter and the kids of our friends love to come over and visit our chickens, pick mulberries, or pet our dogs. The rural community we live in also has a variety of school options that we believe could be beneficial for our future children. Our neighbors talk about how much their kids love the community, the out-door adventures, and the opportunity to be kids in a more old-fashioned way, while taking school seriously.

Our infertility journey has been long and very hard, but it has also given us the opportunity to think about why we want to be parents and the sacrifices it would take. We both work, and we are lucky to have jobs we enjoy. We work at the same research organization, where we met almost thirteen years ago. N is the director of operations, helping to manage and guide the organization. But he also looks forward to teaching his children about sports, animals and nature--and perhaps coaching little league. R teaches political science to college students and runs a fellowship program. She finds her job meaningful and enjoys sharing the books and ideas she loves with her students. She is grateful to be involved in their lives, but also can't wait to spend hours reading to her kids. Her job is not simply nine-five and will give her the flexibility to be there for her kids, comfort them when they cry, clean their messy faces, and one day teach them how to cook, plant a vegetable garden, and read for themselves.

Holidays are very important to us. We enjoy turning our home into a Christmas wonderland or a Fourth of July festival, to celebrate with friends and family, and to develop our own traditions. At Christmas we celebrate mass, stuff stockings for the whole family, and R cooks way too much food. On Easter we go to church together and celebrate with a garden party and an egg hunt. Each Thanksgiving R and N invite over their own families and members of their community who can’t go home for the holidays. Together we celebrate and cut into the enormous turkey R insists on cooking.

The truth is that we both expected to have a relatively big family, and our home is a little bit in waiting. But as it became clear that our path to parenthood wouldn't be quite as we once imagined, we have also tried to choose a life we could share now, while forming a foundation for the kind of family we still hope to have.
Fertility story:
Being completely honest, we never really imagined we would be here. Even when we were told that having children would be difficult, we both still thought it would be possible. We were relatively young and healthy, and we were ready for the challenge. Over the years we have tried life-style changes and medication, many rounds of IUI and several rounds of IVF. It’s been hard and we have been very disappointed. But the thing that never changed was our desire to have children. We love each other and the life we have as a couple, but we have each always wanted kids, and that desire has only grown with the years, with our marriage, and with the knowledge of the family we could be.
Infertility diagnosis or N/A:
PCOS
Do you have any children? (If so please explain) None
Marital status: Married
My Information:
I Am: Female
My Age: 31 - 35
My Race: Caucasian
My Eye Color: Blue
My Hair Color: Red
My Education/employment info: PhD/ Researcher
Partner Information: (Or N/A)
My Partner Is: Male
Partner Age or N/A: 31 - 35
Patner Race or N/A: Caucasian
Partner Eye Color or N/A: Blue
Partner Hair Color: Red
Partner education/employment info or N/A: BA/ management
INFORMATION ABOUT THE EMBRYO(S) - If you are a RECIPIENT choose N/A.:
Was an egg donor used or N/A? N/A
Was sperm donor used or N/A? N/A
Any children resulting from this batch of embryos? N/A - I am a Recipient
How many embryos do you have available to donate? N/A - I am a Recipient